Healing Emotional Wounds
Can you recall a day, a whole day completely devoid of emotions? Chances are you can’t, unless you were unconscious, as even our dreams can take us on an emotional roller-coaster we still feel when we wake up.
We are emotional beings, whether we like it or not. And often we don’t, but it’s not what you think.
The main reason, albeit subconscious, is that we cannot fully control our emotional states - and that makes us vulnerable.
Our ego doesn’t like that. Being vulnerable is dangerous and unpredictable. It creates openings in our being through which we might get God knows what and be deeply hurt.
We fear being swept away by emotions.
But it is also human. Artificial Intelligence can learn how to think; it can never learn how to feel. That’s the big difference. For this to happen, it needs to be a human-machine hybrid with biological neurons capable of creating emotional states.
Yes, it is possible to improve our Emotional Intelligence which means to learn to control our emotions, with the caveat – to an extent.
Emotions are the true interface with the world around us.
Our five physical senses, our thinking brain and even our sixth psychic sense accessing information from the subtle energies are the auxiliary tools supporting our emotional tentacles exchanging information with everything outside the perimeter of our body.
We can actually accept our emotions as the seventh sense; or to be more precise, the Primary Sense, followed by the psychic sense also known as intuition or the sixth sense; then followed by the five physical senses of vision, hearing, touch, smell and taste.
When we feel love, we know we are safe. When we feel fear, it’s time to run or hide. When we feel anger, sadness, jealousy, rage, calm, joy….. these emotional states paint the energetic picture of our environment and that’s how we interact with the world and with Life. Not surprisingly, Life reflects these pictures back to us.
How are you feeling? How do you feel about this? How am I feeling? How do I feel about this? – these are the most important questions we can ask.
But there is a cost to our emotionality. The cost our ego is so afraid of.
Emotional wounds.
These are emotional traumas - both inevitable like grief and avoidable like abuse – that we have suffered and didn’t process and clear from our being within a reasonable timeframe. The toxic energy of that trauma is trapped in our biofield and sooner or later it moves to our physical body affecting the weakest, often corresponding tissues and organs creating illness, disease and death.
Psychologically, emotional wounds hold us back in life in fear of more pain that we can still feel. We are still hurting. Those wounds can open again at any time.
Loss, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, all kinds of abuse; being taken advantage of and cheated on; witnessing or being forced to commit acts that violate our human values of decency, dignity, kindness and the sanctity of life. Like war, for example. And killing people.
All these events and circumstances create emotional traumas. Deep emotional wounds that we often carry for the rest of our life in our psyche and body, unable or unwilling to clear them from our system.
Here are some key truths about emotional wounds that might help us in the healing process:
1. Emotional wounds must be healed
Human body is designed to maintain the homeostasis (dynamic equilibrium) at the physical, physiological and psychological levels. An interruption in the homeostasis such as trauma, will immediately set off the required mechanisms of the body starting the repair and healing process.
The parasympathetic nervous system will kick in, shutting down its sympathetic opposite once the threat is over. A physical injury whether internal or external will alert the immune system and the DNA cell repair protocols into action within seconds of being inflicted. All this will happen without our attention or intervention, necessarily; although in some cases medical assistance will help.
Emotional traumas however, are a different kettle of fish. While our body knows that something is very wrong when it is flooded with stress hormones at the rate and intensity it cannot deal with, it needs our conscious attention and action to stop this flow and heal the emotional wound.
If it doesn’t get our help in the healing process to bring back the homeostasis, it will continue to deteriorate, eventually pushing the toxic energy of the trauma into the tissues and organs to get our attention with illness, disease and pain.
2. Every emotional wound is there for a reason. In order to heal a wound, we must understand its purpose
Creation is very efficient. Nothing ever gets wasted; energy can never be destroyed, it can only be transmuted and change its state.
There are no accidents; synchronicity is the name of the game. While not everything can be predicted to a tee as there are many potential futures, every single thing and action has a purpose, which can be as simple as leading us to the next thing and action.
Every emotional wound we carry in our being was inflicted for a reason.
Once we can understand this, there is no point in blaming anything or anyone, including ourselves, for what happened in the past. Yes, there were people and circumstances that created your wound, and all action on the physical plane does have consequences; but at a higher level, they were just agents delivering your lessons in a way that’s of most benefit to you.
So what could be the purpose of your deep emotional wound? Let’s see…
To show you how strong and resilient you are? To help you learn the power of forgiveness? To highlight the fact that you and what happens to you are two separate experiences, two separate phenomena? To raise your self esteem and ability to speak up and stand up for yourself? To help you understand that you are important, that you do matter and that you are good enough no matter what? To help you look at your life from the highest and broadest perspective? To help you love yourself? Make you aware of your core values and perhaps that you may want to reprioritise them? To show you that we never lose anyone, really, and our love extends across the dimensions as love is All That Is? To help you take control of your life, not be dependent on other people’s wishes? To connect you with your intuition so that you actually listen to it?
What is it? You need to find the purpose.
The pain is a reminder that the lesson has not yet been learnt. Once that’s accomplished – the wound has served its purpose and is ready to go, like all things in the Universe whose job is done.
3. It is our task and challenge to heal our emotional wounds
There is not a living person in this world without an emotional wound. Why? Because emotional wounds are part of life - it’s as simple as that. Every emotional pain we experience has the potential to create a wound.
Unprocessed, unresolved emotional traumas create energetic wounds that affect our life; and it is our task and challenge to process and release that toxic energy from our physical and etheric being.
A task is something that needs to be done. A challenge is a task that will stretch us beyond our comfort zone. Do you accept the challenge?… It may not be easy or comfortable, but given the cost of not doing it and the reward for having it done…
Well, you decide. Your attention and action are required, but still it’s up to you. Importantly, this process starts with intention.
4. Healing an emotional wound will raise your frequency and propel you forward in life
Our personal frequency we project into the Quantum Field is calibrated to a large extent by our emotional state. An emotional wound is a toxic, dense, heavy energy, black or grey and stagnant. This kind of energy tends to repel people, opportunities and joyful events.
The moment you start releasing this dark, negative energy, it will give room to the positive, high vibrations full of light that will attract all the good stuff to you, so you will move on and up in your life.
In some cases, spontaneous healings may occur; seemingly unchangeable situations suddenly turn around; people you love who are gone from your life may suddenly return; opportunities you could only dream of become reality; and the list goes on.
That heavy emotional energy baggage you dump will remove the wound and start the healing - the wound that was your blockage, your self-sabotage, your repellent. Once it’s gone, the true energy of your life, your connection with the Universe, with The Divine, the blueprint of your destiny will all begin to change.
5. Emotional wounds are often used to gain payoffs
This is a big one.
I mean, who will ever admit to using their emotional wound for personal gains…and yet, that’s very common. We do it consciously or subconsciously; to seek attention, love, pity or support or as an excuse for bad behaviour. In the worst case scenario, an emotional wound is used as emotional blackmail or manipulation - I’ve been so deeply wounded and you don’t wanna help me…you don’t care…
What if this emotional wound is serving me at some level? What if I can use it as a protection and tool for manipulation, excuse, escape, victimhood, self-pity and a barrier that I can hide behind with no effort to achieve my greatest potential?
I can play my wounded card to get what I want, to get love and attention, to have an excuse to not to get out of my comfort zone. Yes, it hurts and I’m stuck but that’s the price I'm willing to pay.
Are you? Yes, you do have a choice. But, really?…
"What if” is my favourite game I often play with my clients. What if... and let your imagination run wild….What if I were free from this emotional wound? How would I feel if it weren’t there? What would happen?.. What would not happen?…… If I didn’t have this wound, what would I miss out on?…
What is your payoff? Think about it. You don’t need to tell anyone but be honest with yourself. The healing process starts with letting go.
6. To heal an emotional wound we must drop the belief that we are wounded
Huh! This is an even bigger one! Ok. It does require a bit of logic and imagination -my favourite double-brain approach.
Let’s explore this paradox.
If you believe that you have an emotional wound, no matter what you do to heal it - you keep it real by acknowledging its existence. In the end, it will heal; but it will happen so much faster if you start removing your energy from it by changing your belief that you do have it in the first place. The energy of your emotional wound will get weaker and weaker, until it's gone. Like a bonfire. Once you stop adding wood to it, the bonfire will eventually die.
Embrace the paradox.
Re-write your history. Create a new resume of your past as you always wanted it to be. Can I do that? You ask. Of course you can! This is your life, your history, your imagination, your energy – you can do with it whatever you like. Write an autobiography of the life you always wanted to live, without any emotional wounds.
Replace trauma with experience. And start healing from there.
This is an extract from my latest Quantum Living podcast episode by the same title. You can listen to it over a piece of beautiful background music HERE.
If you enjoy my writing and would like to reward it, please use my secure Tip Jar below. Thank you!