Not now….
Sounds familiar?
Let’s talk about the dirty P word - procrastination. Do you know that you tend to procrastinate or are you blissfully unaware, yet wondering why the things you were going to do have never been done, or were started and then abandoned somehow, for no reason at all?…
A common definition of procrastination is the action of delaying or postponing something (Oxford Languages), which is a funny oxymoron – to call procrastination an action; if anything, it is a non-action! So perhaps they meant: the act.
I would define it as a state of mind that causes us to delay or postpone something. (As a remainder - delay is a spontaneous decision, while postponement is planned).
But I will go even further in my definition to say that:
Procrastination is a conscious or unconscious decision to delay or postpone something we are not energetically aligned with. In short, we just don’t feel like doing it now.
When faced with a new task or activity we don’t feel pulled towards with no enthusiasm to engage, chances are it will quickly fall into the NOT NOW basket we keep on the periphery of our mind.
There are different types of procrastination: from delaying a phone call to your loved one for few hours when you had a fight; to leaving a car wash until the weekend or when you have time; to postponing an important dentist appointment for several weeks or months.
So why do we procrastinate?
This is actually a complex syndrome. In my model, there are 10 main reasons to procrastinate (I call them excuses), which in the course of our lifetime we’ll inevitably succumb to most, if not all of them. Once again, the common denominator is the weak energetic alignment with our psyche, creating a weak pull (motivation). The strength of that pull decides the true hierarchy of our priorities, with disregard for our To Do list, calendar and schedule.
My final conclusion is the icing on the cake.
Each excuse to procrastinate serves a different purpose: to protect us from what we don’t want to experience; to give us what we secretly crave for; or to serve as a challenge we need to overcome on our pathway of personal growth. Some are linked to behavioural disorders, while others are just destructive mechanisms of the unconscious mind.
They are:
Laziness; fear of stepping out of our comfort zone; lack of interest and commitment; distraction; overwhelm; fear of failure; fear of success; victimhood; perfectionism; and self-sabotage.
Does anything on this list resonate with you?…
As I’ve already mentioned, we want to be energetically aligned with the task at hand, otherwise it creates resistance, which is a very real physiological response in our body. This resistance triggers our mind’s similar response via the neurotransmitters pathways, disconnecting our attention and focus from the task.
Let’s explore these excuses with simple strategies to capture and control them:
1. Laziness
Let’s face it. We are all guilty of being a little lazy from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. This is a very common procrastination excuse: when there is something we need to do and just don’t feel like doing it, for no good reason. We might be tired, sleepy, or just not in the mood. Or we’d rather be doing something else, instead.
The solution is a bit of self-discipline and a bit of effort to jump out of the laziness hole. Stand up (if you are sitting or lying down), and say: Ok, enough is enough, let’s do it now, otherwise it will never get done!
2. Fear of stepping out of our comfort zone
This is an extension of laziness, just more powerful as it comes from the ego. You are dipping your toe in the water complaining that it’s too wet and too cold…and God forbid, you might even have to learn how to swim! Too uncomfortable, too hard, too much to do.
The solution here is to see clearly the outcome you want to get– its benefits and the glory of achievement you’ll be basking in (that’s for your ego), then jump into the water and learn how to swim!
3. Lack of interest and commitment
This excuse usually comes up with the mundane and boring tasks. If something doesn’t grab our attention and ignite a spark, it is sent to the end of the queue.
There are two strategies you can use here:
(1) Delegate or outsource the boring task
(2) Make the task worthwhile. Add value to it.
For example, when doing house chores or filling (boring stuff), listen to an inspirational podcast or a foreign language course. Once you have added more value to the time you spend on the boring task, you’ll start looking forward to it, I promise!
4. Distraction
This one is tricky, as it is often linked to a psychological disorder such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or any other disorder on the autism spectrum.
A typical challenge here is to maintain focus on one thing for a longer period of time, allowing and even seeking distractions to move on to something else. Effectively, it has an appearance of procrastination. By the same token, not every give-in to distraction is a sign of ADHD; either way, there is something you can do about it.
The best solution is to break your task down to small chunks (steps) and have on your plate 3-4 chunk-tasks at any given time. This way, you can spend just few minutes on one chunk then move to the next one, and so on, going back and forth within the same main task; playing along with your short focus span and satisfying the need for distraction in a way that will progress your task.
For example; say, you want to clean up the house. Break this daunting task down to small chunks such as dusting, vacuuming, washing the floors, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen (these two can be broken down to even smaller chunks) etc. and write them down on a piece of paper. Then spend few minutes on each chunk moving back and forth between them until the main task is done.
5. Overwhelm
Based on the feedback from my clients, this is probably the most common cause of procrastination.
I’m so busy, don’t know where to start, so much to do and so little time, can’t see the outcome or what needs to be done…oh my god….I can’t breathe! - and pretty quickly anxiety and overwhelm set in with this huge elephant before us.
The good news is that the earlier mentioned chunking down strategy works wonders for the overwhelm. In addition, estimate how how much time it will take you to complete each chunk and write it down on your list. You’ll be surprised how many small tasks won’t take much time at all, and you’ll be able to tick them off in a matter of minutes.
As an extra layer of control, you can schedule the chunk-tasks in your diary spreading them over few days.
I also have a special little strategy to manage multiple tasks. After prioritising them per urgency, I always start with the smallest and shortest ones to get them out of the way, leaving the biggest one for last.
6. Fear of failure
All fear is paralysing, especially the fear of failure. It is linked to stepping out of our comfort zone into the unknown; and of course, all we can see is the worse case scenario.
What if I fail?… And will be laughed at…and disappoint myself and others…no, I better stay put…I won’t do it…I can’t – that’s your mind chatter going on in your head while you are hanging on to the invitation to an important event - a dream springboard for your career…but no, I can’t...it’s too scary…
Reflect on the root cause of this fear. Where does it come from? Look at the beliefs that have eroded your self-confidence and self-esteem in your early childhood and through the schooling. Is it born out of the negative belief that you are not good enough?…
Therapy aside, here is a brilliant shortcut that works like magic:
Opportunities come to you when you are ready, not one second before. If the Universe trusts that you can do this now, are you saying that the Universe is wrong?…
7. Fear of success
This is the flipside of the fear of failure; but in essence, it is the same fear.
What if I succeed beyond my dreams?…Will I be able to handle all that wealth and fame?... How will I know what to do?....
Again, the issues of self-confidence and self-esteem are playing out here. We are uncertain of our ability to manage the success we are unaccustomed to, unsure whether we’ll be able to gather the courage and follow through.
Success might also have negative connotations for us, which will hold us back as negative beliefs.
Just like the fear of failure, the fear of success is irrational. Again, short of therapy, the same strategies apply.
If this has come to you now, it means that you are ready, and it is actually designed for you. If you don’t trust your ego, trust your omniscient Soul that can see every act in the theater of your life across all incarnations. It knows what you don’t know, so trust.
As always, the choice is yours; and please remember this: no one is forcing you to live a life of your dreams and realise your highest potential ;-)
8. Victimhood
This excuse gives us what we are secretly craving - attention, help or pity. It is also an emotional addiction and can be used as blackmail. We want to feel miserable and get someone to help us with the job; or, better still, do it for us. We want to be looked after, supported and cared for.
The solution is simple – get over yourself and step into your power. Show it to yourself (not so much to others) that you are strong and capable, after all.
If needed, seek professional help to deal with your emotional addictions, as in this case there would be a few.
9. Perfectionism
In my coaching training many years ago, I was told that perfectionists are people who have no standards or strong values, and are pretentious in their strive for the best possible outcome. I have no idea where this nonsensical view came from as it is unsubstantiated and as such invalid, and I completely reject it outright.
On the contrary.
Perfectionists have extremely high standards and very strong values - and yes, you’ve guessed it - perfectionism, or high quality and standards, is one of them. However, their standards are often unrealistic or difficult to achieve, and when not met, they can cause some heavy-duty procrastination, anxiety and stress.
The key issue with perfectionists is not their high standards. The issue is that they hate to compromise on them; so when doing something they will always strive for perfection or don’t do it at all. They never cut corners or do things half-baked. Or, they will procrastinate forever until it’s often too late.
The solution is painful, as you need to go against the grain of your value and learn to compromise. Force yourself to start the task or project at the level you can, and then gradually increase the standard until the job is done and you are happy with the result.
10. Self-sabotage
This is the Mother of all procrastination excuses and happens at two levels.
First, it is the bottom layer of all other triggers, as there are always some negative consequences of not moving forward in life. But also, self sabotage can play out on its own, in which case it is the most serious trigger, deeply embedded in our psyche that needs to be deal with alone.
When procrastination is your second nature and you can’t put a finger on the cause, such as an overwhelm or the fear of failure, I recommend seeking professional help.
Self sabotage is the psychological equivalent of an auto-immune disease where the body attacks itself.
You need to find the reason why you are acting against your own best interest, and that reason is buried deeply in your unconscious mind.
So, these are the 10 key reasons for procrastination.
Having said all that – the basic, universal strategy to fight off procrastination is actually quite simple:
1. Start with the outcome in mind; what is that you want to achieve.
2. Plan, but don’t dwell on the process. The main thing is to keep moving.
3. Think of the consequences of the delay - that’s your risk management score.
Remember your postponed dentist appointment?...two weeks later…ouch!
4. Just do it!
One of my clients has summed it up oh, so well, when few week after the Program I checked on her progress:
What procrastination? Are you kidding? I don’t have the time to procrastinate!
And finally, the icing on the cake you’ve been waiting for - my final conclusion.
If you are aware that you procrastinate, don’t know why, but still do it, happily dragging your feet in the shadows of your life - your happiness is all that matters.
You are who you are.
And to stir up your brain even more from the Quantum-Zen perspective:
Things you haven’t yet done are not meant to be done until you do them.
😊
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